“Unreasonable Hospitality,” Rabbi Elaine Zecher’s Shabbat Awakenings

November 7, 2025 | 16 Cheshvan 5786

Welcome to Shabbat Awakenings, a weekly reflection, as we make our way toward Shabbat. You can also listen to it as a podcast.

Giving more than is anticipated without the expectation of reward and making people feel seen and that they matter is a definition of unreasonable hospitality.

Our Torah portion this week and, particularly, Abraham embody the meaning, but here it is through a sacred context. The portion opens by informing us that God appeared to Abraham. (Genesis 18:1) It was not like the command from last week’s portion of Lech Lecha, Go forth! Instead, it was in the form of unreasonable hospitality. Right after the text informs us that the Divine appeared, it lets us know that there were three people standing near Abraham. Some say that they were angels and that was how God appeared.

I don’t think God was the strangers, but rather sacred behavior appeared in the way that Abraham responded to them. He probably wasn’t feeling very well since last week’s portion ended with Abraham circumcising himself. The commentators assumed he sat at the entrance of his tent to heal. Nevertheless, Abraham ran to greet them and welcomed these strangers in their desert trek to rest in the shade, drink water, and eat. He and his wife, Sarah, proceeded to prepare an elaborate meal that consisted of fresh bread and prepared meat, along with curds and milk to nourish them. It was quite a meal.

The idea of unreasonable hospitality is explained in a book by the same name written by Will Guidara who employed his definition through his restaurant 11 Madison Park. Our Temple Israel president, Shawn Kravetz, introduced many of us to the book’s ideas on the High Holy Days. The Board of Trustees also read it and discussed it.

Though we love to talk about food and the book has many stories that involve delicacies, the book isn’t about food and neither is the Torah portion. Both are about the human capacity to step forward, out of one’s comfort, and help another by letting that person know that they matter. Our attention is a sacred act. It might mean being a step or two ahead, reading the room, engaging in emotional intelligence, or just offering compassion in the moment.

We all benefit when the Divine appears in our kind actions toward one another. Who knows, perhaps those to whom we do show unreasonable hospitality may be divine messengers after all.

Shabbat Shalom! שבת שלום

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and impressions. Share with me what you think. Your email goes directly to me!

Rabbi Elaine Zecher