Home Digital Content Library “Dear Adam Sandler,” Rabbi Zecher’s Shabbat Awakenings
Blog post

“Dear Adam Sandler,” Rabbi Zecher’s Shabbat Awakenings

September 8, 2023 | 22 Elul 5783

Welcome again to Shabbat Awakenings, a weekly reflection as we move toward Shabbat. You can listen to it as a podcast here.

Welcome to Shabbat Awakenings as we make our way toward Shabbat. This week I have imagined a letter I would write.

Dear Adam Sandler,

Recently, I had the pleasure of enjoying your most recent movie, You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah. We, at Temple Israel, were aware of its production ever since one of your location scouts unexpectedly visited our synagogue and had the pleasure of speaking with our Executive Director who warmly greeted the location scout. We fortunately didn’t hold our breath with expectation. But, I digress.

I loved the movie for three reasons. First, you and your talented daughters and wife all portrayed a vibrant Judaism expressed in active participation in the synagogue. The diverse group of students in their classroom, acting their age and yet at the same time showing deep respect for the rabbi and cantor filled my heart with great joy. The kids in the movie move about the synagogue with comfort and the knowledge that this is their home away from home. I particularly loved the warm embrace of the student who decided he wanted to be part of the congregational community.

Second, what a rabbi! Thank you for not playing off of some stereotype to create what might be seen as authentic when it really is not. This rabbi was humorous, creative, ridiculously amusing, and also serious about the care she gave to her students. Though I am not sure I would ever meet with a student while moving sideways on a treadmill, the physical comedic moment made me laugh out loud. I particularly liked how and where she discovered her students actively “engaged” in their own activity behind the curtain in full view of the Torahs. The script allowed for a not so subtle message that families along with their rabbis and cantors can help kids find meaning and strength during challenging and joyful experiences.

Third, you put the “mitzvah back into the bar,” as the saying goes. It wasn’t just about the party (that’s the bar part!) even though much of the movie focused on this particular event. Through all the trials and tribulations, the discovery of the meaning of friendship, forgiveness, and acts of lovingkindness blossomed in beautiful ways.

All this made it possible to look past the relationship complication that caused the rife in the first place, the overzealous portrayal of conspicuous consumption at the celebration and the plot twist of the entrance video. (That may be a west coast custom since we don’t see that here in the east—yet!) From a cultural and ritual practice point of view, you made being Jewish fun, true, and complicated as we know it can be sometimes.

I know you care about Judaism. I know you are a member of a congregation. To me, that makes you a serious Jew. With many turning away from the communal experience of belonging to a synagogue, you lifted up in a light hearted and deeply reflective way that Judaism and Jewish living has great meaning not just for individuals but in the warm embrace of community.

This is a wonderful Rosh Hashanah gift to us all.

From all of us at Temple Israel of Boston living Judaism together, we wish you and your family a sweet and happy new year.

L’shanah Tovah!

I continue to value the many comments you exchange with me through these Shabbat Awakenings. Share with me what you think here. Your email goes directly to me!

  • We gather at 6:00 p.m. for Qabbalat Shabbat indoors or on Zoom, Facebook Live, or stream on our website. We continue our review and study of our Congregational Read, On Repentance and Repair by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg. You don’t need to have read it yet.
  • Torah Study gathers onsite or online at 9:00 a.m.
  • The Village gathers at 10:00 a.m. for aRosh Hashanah Puppet Show. Register here.
  • We gather for S’lichot onsite at 7:00 p.m. for a social gathering. Spiritual Practice Lab (onsite and online options) begins at 7:30. The candlelit service with Havdalah begins at 9:00 Candlelit Service (in mixed presence, onsite and online).
  • Gather online to say goodbye to Shabbat with a lay-led Havdalah on Zoom at 8:00 p.m.

Rabbi Elaine Zecher