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“Disputes for the Sake of Heaven: 30 Days After Oct 7,” Rabbi Suzie Jacobson’s Sermon

November 3, 2023
Qabbalat Shabbat
Temple Israel of Boston

Shabbat Shalom!

This Shabbat marks the end of sheloshim, the end of the first 30 days of mourning following the devastating murder of more than 1400 Israelis at the hands of Hamas. The tragedy of October 7th, the greatest tragedy the Jewish people have faced in my lifetime is an event and a date that will leave an indelible mark on the Jewish people. And yet, how do we understand a completion of sheloshim, when the moment is anything but resolved?

With, at latest count, 242 hostages still unaccounted for, thousands of Gazans dead and millions more displaced and lacking basic resources, a huge number of Israelis called up to the army and put in harms way, the West Bank erupting with both settler violence and Palestinian displacement, anti-semitism skyrocketing with violence erupting on campuses as just one example, and islamophobia also skyrocketing, the murder of 6-year-old American Palestinian Wadea Al-Fayoume in Illinois the most tragic example.

There are dozens of other political and human tragedies that are keeping us up at night. And your list might be different depending on your perspective or political leanings. And that is ok. That’s where we are right now. This is an incredibly complex, multilayered and devastating moment. Any expectation for uniformity in thinking, feeling or response is unreasonable.

In America, we are watching in real time as friends, colleagues, family members and ourselves are thrown into camps of diametrically opposed opinion. With pain and sadness comes anger, with anger comes protest. With protest comes slogans. And then we are screaming across a political divide.

The situation in Israel and Gaza is not one that we have direct control over, but we might have some agency when it comes to how we comport ourselves in conversation and conflict.

In Judaism, we learn from Pirkei avot that there are two types of disagreements – The text reads:
Every machloket shel shamayim, dispute that is for the sake of Heaven, will in the end endure; But machloket lo shel shamayim, one that is not for the sake of Heaven, will not endure.

There is much debate over who and what judges whether an argument is for the sake of heaven. What does it mean for an argument to endure?

The rabbis are famous for their disagreements, all of which they considered to be for the sake of heaven. Mishanah Eduyot teaches that we must record each minority opinion just in case someday, some Jew needs to refer back to that opinion and make a new decision for their community.

A dispute for the sake of heaven is a conversation between respectful peers that helps build our collective wisdom. As Jews we understand that circumstances and values shift – We are not one people because we all agree, we are one people because we remember that our conversations, including our disagreements, both are unending.

One possible way to define a dispute that is not for the sake of heaven is if it shuts down further conversation. This can be due to the content of a dispute or to our behavior. If we argue in a way that is disrespectful, devoid of empathy and without an attempt at understanding the other’s perspective we risk more than just the topic at hand, we risk our relationships with one another.

I’ve been thinking a lot about a very well known dispute in this week’s parasha.

With both surprising chutzpah and inordinate grace, Abraham challenges God’s plan to destroy the wicked towns of Sodom and Gemmorah.

After learning of God’s intentions, Abraham says:
“Will You really sweep away the innocent along with the guilty? Perhaps there are fifty innocent within the city; will you really sweep it away? …The judge of all the earth—will You not do what is just?”

Abraham is not only disagreeing with God, he is challenging God to think more deeply about the situation and find compassion in the midst of judgment. The Jewish mystics read this as Abraham reminding God to temper gevurah, the attribute of judgment and punishment with the divine attribute of chesed, compassion and love.

Abraham’s argument is logical, it is meaningful and… it is polite. Abraham doesn’t reject God or insult God. Abraham doesn’t threaten to break relationship with God – quite the opposite. It’s from within the framework of a respectful relationship that Abraham is able to ask very difficult moral questions.

God and Abraham go back and forth – Will you destroy the town if there are 40 righteous people? 30? What about 10?

Abraham is a powerful model of how we can disagree.

This is what is lacking in the current climate of response to what is happening in Israel and Gaza. No matter what side you fall on, it is all too easy to dehumanize the other and see enemies everywhere.

One of the ways this happens is through the use of slogans and social media posts. Slogans are short enough to fit on a poster or an instagram post but they are too terse and too easily misunderstood. Some slogans comfort us and make us feel strong, and others lead to great pain and in some cases, are antisemitic or islamophobic and constitute violent language.

Rather than posting a slogan on a facebook feed I wish more people allowed slogans to become topic sentences for complicated conversations.

Here are a few examples:
“Free Palestine” – Are you advocating that Palestinians have a state and self determination or are you calling for the annihilation of Israel?

“Israel has a right to defend itself” – Defense could mean a wall or a nuclear bomb. Are all military tactics necessary defense or are there actions that go ethically out of bounds?

“Israel is a white settler colonial state” – What is making you use that terminology? Are you talking about the settlements in the west bank? Can Israel be colonialist if Jews have been in the land for four thousand years? 60% of Israeli Jews aren’t white, but their top leaders are majority Ashkenazi white, that’s something to talk about. This political term has a deep history, do you mean to say that Israel is oppressive?

“I stand with Israel” – Are you expressing solidarity with Israel in a time of great pain and trauma, or are you expressing unqualified approval of a government and military?

I am not so naive to think that slogans will not be used in a time of crisis – but I do hope that as a community we can open up conversations that allow us to go much deeper than an instagram post will allow.

I am not sure if the larger arguments in this moment of deep pain and crisis will in the end be judged for the sake of heaven or not. This is much wider than any one community, faith group, country or ideology. And there is much out there that is hate speech, not discourse. I do believe there are things we can do here at Temple Israel to make sure that our conversations are for the sake of heaven.

We must recognize that there is diversity of opinion here and not be afraid or angry that we don’t all agree. We have a tent that is wide enough to encompass many perspectives, questions and perhaps even some answers, we don’t have to silence one another. There is no such thing as one true single story – there are many ways to see the world and its heartbreaks.

But every tent has poles, boundaries that help us keep ourselves protected and define our intentions. Calling for the genocide of Israelis and the destruction of the state of Israel is outside our tent poles. Advocating for the genocide and destruction of Palestinians is equally outside the bounds of our shared morality.

Within the tent we have a lot of room for discussion, and yes, disagreement. Disagreement is healthy and important. It’s the way we learn and grow. God didn’t strike Abraham down for pushing back on Divine decision making. God listened, even negotiated. Though in the end it didn’t change God’s mind and the cities were destroyed, their relationship was preserved, even strengthened.

Many challenging, important conversations have been happening at Temple Israel over the last few weeks and each has been respectful and diverse. I am extremely proud to be your rabbi. There are still many more to be had. If there is a conversation, a class, an event, an action you want to see happen – please let me know. The clergy and I want to help you process, understand and endure this moment – and we do that best together.

This shabbat marks the end of sheloshim, but people are still dying and so much is at stake for Israelis and for Palestinians.

May our difficult conversations in the days and weeks ahead be filled with compassion and bravery. May we remember that we are each hurting, and find the patience and grace to continue building a community committed to justice and love.